"Berserk" -> "Attaque de manière incontrôlable avec une puissance accrue. Effet annulé par les dégâts d'eau et de glace." "Slime" -> ... "Gelée"? "Death/Doom" -> "Mort/Condamné* -- Tue instantanément, ou quand le temps est écoulé" *(it's "Condamné" not "Comdamné" "Doom" -> "Condamné -- Meurt instantanément* quand le temps est écoulé." (* missing a s at "instantanément") "Dispel" -> "Dissipation" "Buff Débuff" -> ... Bonus Malus ? "May dispel targets." -> "Peut annuler les effets de la cible" "Drains HP/MP from targets with certain skills." -> "Vole des PV/MP aux cibles avec certaines abilités" "Magma Hammer" -> "Marteau Magmatique" "Razorwind" -> ... "Tranch'vent" "Frozen Tears" -> "Larmes Gelées" "Slime hat" -> "Chapeau de gelée" "Become a slime" -> "Devenez une gelée" "Viking fur" -> "Fourrure de Viking" (i do believe it's ONE fur right?) "Golden Armor" -> "Armure en Or"
Hi again! It's time to review this French translation!
*Auto revive: it's just a name suggestion, since I played many RPG games. You can use "Auto Vie" if you want to stay closer to the original name you gave this skill. I've seen it in many RPG, but on the other hand it's the second time only that I see "Halo" for this kind of effect. It's up to you to decide if you want to be "classical" or keep this name which is a bit more original. *Slime: "items" should be "objets", I think...? *Pope's Hat : In french, it is just called a "Mitre". Not really a mistake, just pointing out a second choice. *Fur hat: it should be "Devenez un mammouth."
That's all for this one. Almost no mistake at all!
"Donner" ("Thunder") is a correct translation, but "Donner" is only the sound, which I guess would not match with the animations, so it should be "Blitz" (= Lightning)
"Licht" ("Holy") and "Schatten" ("Dark") are complicated. As separate elemental names, they are inaccurate, but alright, though I'd use "Dunkel" for "Dark". But! there is a problem with the usage in your sentences. "Lichtschaden" and "Schattenschaden". Those two sound wrong. In German, you'd say "lichter Schaden" or more accurate to the english word "holy" and even better for a game, "heiliger Schaden" and you wouldn't use "Schattenschaden" at all, which is why "Dunkel" is a better word. You can then use "dunkler Schaden". While the translation isn't wrong, "Lichtschaden" and "Schattenschaden" are not the words commonly used in books and games, which is why they sound wrong. This appears again later, within the sentence "Boosts the power of (element) skills", where it's alright for every element name except for those two. "Boosts the power of fire skills" -> "Steigert die Kraft von Feuerfähigkeiten", but "Boosts the power of holy skills" -> "Steigert die Kraft von (heiligen/lichten) Fähigkeiten". There's simply no convenient way to translate those two words without either resorting to the inaccurate and wrong sounding translation of "Licht" and "Schatten" or usage of adjectives instead of compounds, like for all other elements. So to sum up: holy and dark should be "Heilig" and "Dunkel"; but you can't use those in your sentences, where you have to use the adjectives for those; "holy damage" -> "heiliger Schaden"; "dark damage" -> "dunkler Schaden". (to emphasize the difference: "fire damage" is "Feuerschaden") "Schattenkugeln" for "dark bauble" is however better than "dunkle Kugeln" would be.
"Erholung" ("Regenerate") has a subtext of laziness/sleep/holiday, a generally very slow way to regenerate. "Regeneration" is imo more accurate. Also, I don't know how far you want to go with your translation, but "HP" is an abbreviation for "Hitpoints", which would be "Lebenspunkte" in German and thus should be abbreviated "LP".
"Volltreffer" ("critical hit") sounds wrong throughout your translation, it implies only that it hit without a doubt, not that it hit with more force than usual - "kritischer Treffer" is better (but may be too long).
"Brand" ("Burn") is an actual fire, "Burn" would be "Brennen", there's also a typo in the description, it's "Feuerschaden".
"Frost" ("Freeze") -> "Eingefroren" (maybe too long, but way better)
"Kann die Ziele verbrennen" ("May burn targets") -> "Kann die Ziele anzünden", this implies a DoT, original translation implies immediate, one time damge.
"Superschuss" ("Super Snipe") -> "Scharfschützengewehr" My translation means "sniper rifle" actually, but it sounds way cooler than "Superschuss".
"Auslöscher" ("Exterminator") -> "Exterminator". It's the same word, since it stems from Latin.
"Become a cow" -> "Werde zu einer Kuh" "Become a cat" -> "Werde zu einer Katze" "Become a nurse" -> "Werde zu einer Krankenschwester" "Become a bunny" -> "Werde zu einem Häschen" "Become a mammoth" -> "Werde zu einem Mammut" "Become a slime" -> "Werde ein Schleim" [You can also use "eine" for "zu einer" and "ein" for "zu einem". It's shorter, but it doesn't sound as good as. Except for slime. I don't know why, maybe it's just personal preference. Don't use the current translation. Especially not for slime. "Werde zum Schleim" is disgusting.]
"Doubles the power of attack items" -> "Verdoppelt die Stärke von Angriffsitems"
The translation for "Captain's shirt" depends on the in game item. If it's more of a jacket, the current translation is correct, if it's an actual shirt, it's "Kapitänshemd".
"Doubles the power of HP and MP healing items." -> "Verdoppelt die Stärke von HP- und MP-heilenden Items."
There are some sentences with the words I suggested for change. Should be obvious those have to be altered then as well, but I won't write all of them down.
Phew! Thanks for taking your time to go through the whole document. I was hoping someone would finally come up with some suggestions for improvement, just like people did back then with the items. And you managed to write that comment just in time... Hm, let's see...
- "Donner": Well, both "Blitz" and "Donner" are in common use as element names. I changed it to Blitz nonetheless. However, if it's okay with you, I won't change the foe names (except for "Thunder Elemental" -> "Blitzelementar").
(Fun fact: In Pokemon, the attack "Thunder" is also translated as "Donner". Probably because "Blitz" was already used for "Flash".)
- "Licht/Schatten": Hng. I know it's slightly inaccurate. After looking at the skills, I thought it was fine to translate the element names like that. Schattenschaden is actually used in World of Warcraft. Lichtschaden is also not unheard of, though less common.
Translating "Holy" as "Heilig" and "Dark" as "Dunkel" would complicate matters, as you already stated. Take a look at the following line, found in the Skills document (which hasn't been uploaded so far): "(Basic/Advanced/Expert)(element)(attack/magic)".
An example for the use of this line later in the skill descriptions would be "Basic fire magic". I translated it as "(Einfache/Fortgeschrittene/Mächtige) (element) (Attacke/Magie)". Here, an example for a skill description would be "Einfache Feuermagie". (Don't worry about the space between (element) and (Attacke/Magie). I made a note about it in the document that it has to be removed.) If we changed the element names to "Heilig" and "Dunkel", we would once again have the same problem you mentioned above.
In short: I mostly agree with you. However, I chose to translate the element names like that to keep matters as simple and easy for Matt as possible.
- "Erholung": Hm. I think I will change this. But... What would you suggest as a translation for "Randomly regenerates the player"? To me, "Lässt den Spieler sich zufällig regenerieren" sounds kind of wrong, as well as "Verleiht dem Spieler zufällig den Regenerations-Status". If you are okay with any of these two sentences or if you have a better idea, I will change it to "Regeneration".
Oh, and we agreed not to translate HP, so I'll leave it as is.
- "Brand" + "Frost": Whoops, immediately corrected the typo. Thanks! I tried to use nouns for all the status effects. Suddenly writing "Eingefroren" when all the other names are nouns just doesn't feel right. Same with "Brennen" (although "Brennen" can also be a noun, I know). I thought about translating it as "Verbrennung", but that would be too long :/ Sorry.
- "Superschuss": Woah, you are right. I must admit I forgot that it's not a skill but a weapon. Changed this. Thanks a lot, really! (Luckily, it fits the max name length...)
- "Auslöscher": Changed that one~! I wasn't sure whether it was okay to leave it as "Exterminator".
- "Become a...": Changed all the phrases.
- "Doubles the power...": Okay, changed "Kraft" to "Stärke". I wasn't sure which word to use there.
- Captain's Shirt: Ahhh, when we translated the equipment, the demo for the menus was already available ([link]). There you could already take a look at the equipment within the game. The Captain's Shirt is actually a jacket. That's also why I translated every instance of "skirt" with "Kleid" instead of "Rock" (Natalie's armor).
- "Angel Pin": Oh, yeah. Forgot the s there. Changed that.
Once again, a big thank you! I really, really appreciate the feedback.
Pokemon. I see. Maybe lacking a bit in my game education, hehe.
"Schattenschaden" may be ok, but "Lichtschaden" still sounds like Lasers to me. (And I'm reading Gardens of the Moon, where "Schatten" is something between "Licht" and "Dunkel", (= "Licht" and "Schatten" aren't even opposites), which may explain why it sounded really weird to me.)
Yeah, German is stupid like that. As soon as you have to use adjectives, grammar kicks in. I don't know how he will implement it in his game, but I thought, if every sentence has to be translated anyway, you could use "Heilig" and "Dunkel". But sure, if you use regular expressions like that, it makes things hugely complicated for Matt.
"Löst zufällig Regeneration aus"?
I noticed the noun thing, and I tried to find one, but couldn't come up with one. "Eis" was already in use. "Eisblock" is meh, "Vereisung" even more meh. Still, "Frost" sounds like a slow to me, not a stun, which is why I found "Eingefroren" better. If it were possible, "Eis" would have been the best word for conformity and meaning. And as you said, "Brennen" is a noun. By the way, "Verbrennung" would have been really wrong, because it's the type of injury that occurs, not the process or cause of burning, so good you didn't use that. Also, what about the status effect change sentence "Kann den Gegner anzünden"?
"Superschuss" - So that's why. I couldn't figure out the reason to translate it like that, other than some kind of weird pun.
Heh. There's more than enough games I haven't played yet either. And I suppose you are interested in other kinds of games, aren't you?
I see. You just made me look up Gardens of the Moon. XD Well, what if I change the translations to "Heiligschaden" und "Dunkelschaden"? They don't really sound that much better but might be more accurate... Sigh.
Sometimes I really hate German grammar. Sometimes.
After Nijatzu suggested "Lässt die Gruppe mehrere Runden lang HP regenerieren." for "Regenerates the whole party for several turns." in the Skill translations, I changed the sentence to "Lässt den Spieler zufällig HP regenerieren".
I agree that "eingefroren" is better than "Frost". I took another look at the status effect names to see whether I could change all of them to adjectives and verbs, but I can't come up with good translations for "Regeneration", "Morale", "Slime", "Death/Doom" and "Doom" . That's why I'll keep Frost - it's the best noun given the circumstances.
I'll change "Brand" to "Brennen" however. I thought "Brand" was more common but "Brennen" is also widely used apparently. Hmm... I'm not sure whether you can use "anzünden" with living beings such as humans and monsters. Wouldn't one say "Kann die Ziele in Brand setzen."?
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More